Hello Jokers and Jokets lets see what we have for you today.
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Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, “God, are you still in there?”
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A husband and wife drove for miles in silence after a terrible argument in which neither would budge.
The husband pointed to a mule in a pasture.
“Relative of yours?” he asked.
“Yes,” she replied. “By marriage.”
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An old man whose wife had recently passed away decided to place an obituary in the local paper.
He went to see the editor and was told it would cost $10 a word.
After turning out the contents of his pocket, the old man found $30 in loose change.
He wrote: “Mary Smith Dead”.
Seeing this, the editor felt so sorry for him he said: “For $30 you can have seven words.”
The old man thanked him and thought for a while. Then he wrote: “Mary Smith Dead. Ford Focus for Sale”.
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HUSBAND: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
WIFE : I clean the toilet….
HUSBAND: How does that help ?
WIFE : I use your toothbrush.
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An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.”
“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams.
“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the old man says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her,” and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like hell they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.”
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone, too, and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “they’re coming for Thanksgiving. Now what do we tell them for Christmas?”
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Wow that was hilarious i hoped you enjoyed todays jokey jokes and as always have a chilled day from the Viking.
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Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, “God, are you still in there?”
*********************************************************************************
A husband and wife drove for miles in silence after a terrible argument in which neither would budge.
The husband pointed to a mule in a pasture.
“Relative of yours?” he asked.
“Yes,” she replied. “By marriage.”
*********************************************************************************
An old man whose wife had recently passed away decided to place an obituary in the local paper.
He went to see the editor and was told it would cost $10 a word.
After turning out the contents of his pocket, the old man found $30 in loose change.
He wrote: “Mary Smith Dead”.
Seeing this, the editor felt so sorry for him he said: “For $30 you can have seven words.”
The old man thanked him and thought for a while. Then he wrote: “Mary Smith Dead. Ford Focus for Sale”.
*********************************************************************************
HUSBAND: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
WIFE : I clean the toilet….
HUSBAND: How does that help ?
WIFE : I use your toothbrush.
*********************************************************************************
An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.”
“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams.
“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the old man says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her,” and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like hell they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.”
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone, too, and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “they’re coming for Thanksgiving. Now what do we tell them for Christmas?”
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Wow that was hilarious i hoped you enjoyed todays jokey jokes and as always have a chilled day from the Viking.
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