How to Tuesday

Hello ladies and gents this is the viking telling you that today i have been conversing with a few of my fans and they asked me to find this out for them i hope you like this weeks

HOW TO MAKE A GREAT TINDER PROFILE

1. KNOW HOW WOMEN USE TINDER.

According to a report by the New York Times, men swipe right on Tinder 46 percent of the time and women only swipe right 14 percent of the time. That means there are a whole lot more of you wanting to fuck US than there are of us wanting to fuck YOU.

But why? Well, I feel like when guys are on Tinder, they operate on a simple binary scale of 1 or 0. Would fuck, would not fuck. And then they swipe accordingly. It's very simple for you guys. Hence your large percentage of right swipes.

Women are a little more complicated than that. Whether we want to have meaningless sex with you or try for something sort of real, we take into account more than just how hot you are when deciding if we want to swipe right. This means we're looking at your pictures, your description and how both of those things align to tell us something about who you are

2. YOUR FIRST PICTURE NEEDS TO BE A. OF ONLY YOU, AND B. OF YOUR FACE.

Flash on. Full-frontal. Can't lose. None of those far-off-into-the-distance pictures in which you're standing on a mountain, sitting on a bench a subway station and not even looking at the camera, or at a wedding with four other groomsmen.

This early in the swiping game, you (and me) are disposable. Neither of us are under any obligation to click on each other's profiles to learn more about each other. So you have to make me want to click your profile. And the only thing that will make me want to click your profile is by giving me the chance to have an immediate reaction to your face. And the only way that can happen is if I can see your face.

3. INCLUDE A BIO THAT ISN'T TOO LONG.

One word is too short, and a paragraph is too much. Again, this isn't OKCupid or Match, so you don't need to write a whole thing. Just give us something to work with here that isn't a single emoji.

If you have no clue where to start, try to make us laugh somehow, whether it's with a quote, a joke, a self-deprecating comment or a reference to pop culture.

4. HAVE MORE THAN ONE PICTURE.

Sounds simple, but really, one picture is just suspicious. It makes us think you're fake.

5. MAKE SURE YOU LOOK THE SAME IN ALL YOUR PICTURES.

6. MAKE SURE YOUR PICTURES EMPHASIZE YOUR BEST FEATURES.

You need to make sure a picture you think is good is actually a good picture. 

7. IF YOU'RE TALL, INCLUDE YOUR HEIGHT IN YOUR DESCRIPTION. IF YOU'RE SHORT, BE REAL ABOUT IT BY INCLUDING A FULL-BODY PICTURE.

Girls can be weird about height. It's one of those left over archaic things we still care about.

8. BY THE WAY, WHEN I SAY "FULL-BODY PICTURE," I DON'T MEAN A NAKED MIRROR PICTURE OF YOUR ABS.

Seriously, you guys. Do not do this. DO NOT. Unless you want to repulse every single woman who stumbles upon your profile. There are more subtle ways to show off your body. A picture in which your T-shirt is fitted or the sleeves of your button-down are rolled up is effective. Even a picture of you playing goddamn frisbee in your bathing suit at the beach is more subtle, despite the fact that you are very clearly shirtless.

9. DON'T USE PICTURES OF YOU WEARING SUNGLASSES.

For the love of God and all that is Holy, take the sunglasses off.

Why do you guys do this? All I think when I see a guy in sunglasses is that he's trying to hide some really unappealing facial feature. I'm sure that's not the case, but I don't know you yet, so how am I supposed to know?

10. DON'T USE PICTURES OF YOU WITH GIRLS.

We hope you liked this post and as always have a chilled day form the viking.