Hello this is Joe with something different we have a few one-liners for you to enjoy.
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.
You won't drink away the alcoholism.
Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
Temples are free to enter but still empty. Pubs charge to enter, but are full. People ignore inner peace &choose to pay for self destruction
Life without women would be a pain in the ass, literally.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
Haha we hoped you liked the oneliner and as my mate says keep the road a rolling
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.
You won't drink away the alcoholism.
Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
Temples are free to enter but still empty. Pubs charge to enter, but are full. People ignore inner peace &choose to pay for self destruction
Life without women would be a pain in the ass, literally.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
Haha we hoped you liked the oneliner and as my mate says keep the road a rolling
Comments
Post a Comment