Hello mates this is the Viking haha just kidding this is Joe and ere some Jokes
JOES JOKES
Why is England the wettest country?
Because the queen has reigned there for years!
Why did the Siamese twins move to England?
So the other one could drive!
Q: How does every English joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.
Q: Whats the difference between a smart English man and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters
Q: Why didn't Raheem Sterling vote for Britain to stay or leave?
A: He can't put a cross in the Box!
Q: What's the difference between England and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
Q: What do the Brits eat for breakfast?
A: Cheerios 'ol chap. England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool
Q: What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup?
A: A Referee.
Q: Why was Gareth Southgate speeding?
A: To get three points.
Q: What does the Loch Ness monster eat?
A: Fish and ships
Kate Middleton once asked the queen "What's the secret of a long life?"
To which the queen replied "Wear a seat belt and don't piss me off!
Q: Why were the two whores travelling in London pissed off?
A: Because they found out that Big Ben was a clock!
Q: What time was it when the monster ate the British prime minister?
A: Eight P.M.
Q: What's the difference between Princess Diana and Elton John?
A: Princess Diana never became a queen of England
Q: Why can't Meghan Markle go to Starbucks anymore?
A: Because they don't serve Royal-tea.
Q: Why is no one late in London?
A: Because there is a big clock right in the middle of town.
Q: Why aren't the England football team allowed to own a dog?
A: Because they can't hold on to a lead.
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.
There would be mass confusion!
Q: What does an Owl in England watch?
A: Dr. Whoot.
Q: What time does Andy Murray got to bed?
A: Tennish.
Q: What do you call a Scotsman with diarrhea?
A: Bravefart.
Q: Why do the English make better lovers than the Germans?
A: Because English are the only one's who can stay on top for 45 minutes and still come second.
Q: Whats the difference between Cinderella and the England football team?
A: Cinderella wanted to get to the ball
Q: What did Sir Mix-A-Lot say after meeting the queen?
A: Baby Got Hats.
What do you call a restaurant that only serves pancakes?
All Day Brexit.
See they're making a film about the London But the Cabbie wouldn't drive further than Woodford.
It's now being called 'Abridge too far'
Ere u like um well you better mate
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