JOES JOKES

Hello mates i hope u laugh haha

JOES JOKES

• A healthy sleep not only makes your life longer, but also shortens the workday.
• Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
• A man walks into the doctors and the doctor says, "I've not seen you for a while." The man replies, "Yes, I've been ill."
• Working at a Hospital is the worst cause you can't call in sick. You: "Yeah, I can't come in today, I'm sick." Boss: "Come on in, we'll check you out."
• Doc says, "Joe, I got some bad news for you. You've got six months to live." Joe says, "Six months? Doc, I can't pay your bill in six months, I can't do it!" Doc says, "OK, I give you a year..."
• Where do sick boats go to get healthy? To the dock!
• I hate that feeling after surgery when you're not sure if you're awake or asleep or if you operated on the right patient.
• I like the way your medication thinks.
• I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
• My mate broke his left arm and left leg, but he was alright.
• My bed wasn't feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.
• When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.
• If your condition seems to be getting better, it's probably your doctor getting sick.
• Me (at work): "I think I'm having a heart attack." My boss: "Do that on your own time!"
• "Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible" "Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
• Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
• Diagnosis: A physician's forecast of the disease by the patient's pulse and purse.
• My health is good; it’s my age that’s bad.
• I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.
• A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
• The doctor demands his fees whether he has killed the illness or the patient.
• Laughter is the best medicine – unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list.
• A man walked into the doctor’s; he said, ‘I’ve hurt my arm in several places.' … The doctor said, ‘well don’t go there any more.'
• When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.
• I told my doctor I wanna stop aging, he gave me a gun!
• Somewhere in the world is… the world’s worst doctor… and he could be yours.
• I went to a doctor, and all he did is suck blood from my neck; don't go see Dr. Acula.
• First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
• If your condition seems to be getting better, it's probably your doctor getting sick.
• What's the Difference Between God and a Surgeon? God doesn’t think he's a surgeon.
• What Did the Man Who Swallowed a Bag of Nickels Say to the Doctor Reading His X-Ray? Any change?

I hope you liked this post mates