Hey buds this is Big Joe letting them rip for your enjoyment
Someone in a Home Depot offers you assistance… and they don’t work there
Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway
You have switched from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again
You install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked
You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit
You have worn shorts and a parka at the same time
You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewellery and your Keens.
You understand the sentence, “Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilt my poutine.”
You stepped on someone’s foot. You apologise, then apologise for making them apologise
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
Canada is the essence of not being. Not English, not American, it is the mathematic of not being. And a subtle flavour – we’re more like celery as a flavour.
― Mike Myers
I don’t trust any country that looks around a continent and says, ‘Hey, I’ll take the frozen part.’
– Jon Stewart
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, ‘Well, what do you need?’
– Steven Wright
Whoever said, “Do the job right the first time and you’ll never have to do it again” never shovelled snow off a Canadian driveway.
Why did the fugitives go to Canada?
Because they had nowhere else Toroto.
A Canadian went into a Tom Horton’s and noticed there was a “Roll Up The Rim To Win” Contest. So, he rolled up the rim of his coffee and started yelling, “I’ve won a motor home! I’ve won a motorhome!”
The girl at the counter said, “That’s impossible. The biggest prize is a car.”
The person shouted, “No, it’s not a mistake. I’ve won a motorhome!” He handed the Cup to the girl who read:
“W I N A B A G E L”
You know you live in Canada if:
Someone in a Home Depot offers you assistance… and they don’t work there
Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway
You have switched from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again
You install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked
You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit
You have worn shorts and a parka at the same time
You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewellery and your Keens.
You understand the sentence, “Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilt my poutine.”
You stepped on someone’s foot. You apologise, then apologise for making them apologise
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
Canada is the essence of not being. Not English, not American, it is the mathematic of not being. And a subtle flavour – we’re more like celery as a flavour.
― Mike Myers
I don’t trust any country that looks around a continent and says, ‘Hey, I’ll take the frozen part.’
– Jon Stewart
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, ‘Well, what do you need?’
– Steven Wright
Whoever said, “Do the job right the first time and you’ll never have to do it again” never shovelled snow off a Canadian driveway.
Why did the fugitives go to Canada?
Because they had nowhere else Toroto.
A Canadian went into a Tom Horton’s and noticed there was a “Roll Up The Rim To Win” Contest. So, he rolled up the rim of his coffee and started yelling, “I’ve won a motor home! I’ve won a motorhome!”
The girl at the counter said, “That’s impossible. The biggest prize is a car.”
The person shouted, “No, it’s not a mistake. I’ve won a motorhome!” He handed the Cup to the girl who read:
“W I N A B A G E L”
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