Hey buds lets get our laugh on
How do you know that you have been in college too long?
Your parents are running out of money!
Why did the sun skip college?
It already has a million degrees.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
Bi-son.
If pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on?
Scholar-ships.
College student: Hey, Dad — I’ve got some great news for you!
Father: What, son?
College student: Remember that $500 you promised me if I made the Dean’s list?
Father: I certainly do.
College student: Well, you get to keep it!
Professor: Why do pimples make horrible prisoners?
Because they keep breaking out!
A new student at Harvard stopped an upperclassman and asked, “Where’s the library at?”
The upperclassman said, “Never end a sentence with a preposition. Cops do it on TV, but it isn’t proper, so to speak.”
The new student said, “Pardon me. Where’s the library at, MORON?”
A history professor and a psychology professor were sitting outside at a nudist colony. The history professor asked: “Have you read Marx?” The psychology professor replied: “Yes. I think it’s from the wicker chairs.”
What do you call hiking U.S. college students?
The walking debt.
My local college has a program that lets students earn their tuition by working in the on-campus bakery.
The opportunity isn’t open to everyone. It’s run on a strictly knead to know basis.
I think college athletes should get paid to play sports.
Except Tennessee. They’re Volunteers.
When I told my family I graduated from clown college…
They all laughed at me.
Employer: Forget everything you learned in college. You won’t need it working here.
Potential employee: I never went to college.
Employer: Oh, sorry. Unfortunately, you’re not qualified to work here.
Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans.
The first says, “I’m planning on going into farming. It’s what my father did and it makes good money.”
The second asks, “What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?”
“I don’t know, man; there are so many fields to choose from,” the third responds.
A buddy of mine went to college, majored in veterinary medicine and minored in taxidermy. “Either way you’re getting your dog back,” he says.
What is a Gen Z’ers favorite college?
Juuliard.
What do you call a test tube with a college degree?
A graduated cylinder.
My wife was disappointed to find out the real reason why my nickname in college was “The Love Machine.”
It’s because I sucked at tennis.
In college, I was so broke I couldn’t pay the electricity bill.
Those were the darkest days of my life.
My old girlfriend wanted me to do her college algebra homework for her.
But frankly, I didn’t want to solve for ex.
Ere ope u enjoyed it budds.
COLLEGE JOKES
How do you know that you have been in college too long?
Your parents are running out of money!
Why did the sun skip college?
It already has a million degrees.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
Bi-son.
If pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on?
Scholar-ships.
College student: Hey, Dad — I’ve got some great news for you!
Father: What, son?
College student: Remember that $500 you promised me if I made the Dean’s list?
Father: I certainly do.
College student: Well, you get to keep it!
Professor: Why do pimples make horrible prisoners?
Because they keep breaking out!
A new student at Harvard stopped an upperclassman and asked, “Where’s the library at?”
The upperclassman said, “Never end a sentence with a preposition. Cops do it on TV, but it isn’t proper, so to speak.”
The new student said, “Pardon me. Where’s the library at, MORON?”
A history professor and a psychology professor were sitting outside at a nudist colony. The history professor asked: “Have you read Marx?” The psychology professor replied: “Yes. I think it’s from the wicker chairs.”
What do you call hiking U.S. college students?
The walking debt.
My local college has a program that lets students earn their tuition by working in the on-campus bakery.
The opportunity isn’t open to everyone. It’s run on a strictly knead to know basis.
I think college athletes should get paid to play sports.
Except Tennessee. They’re Volunteers.
When I told my family I graduated from clown college…
They all laughed at me.
Employer: Forget everything you learned in college. You won’t need it working here.
Potential employee: I never went to college.
Employer: Oh, sorry. Unfortunately, you’re not qualified to work here.
Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans.
The first says, “I’m planning on going into farming. It’s what my father did and it makes good money.”
The second asks, “What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?”
“I don’t know, man; there are so many fields to choose from,” the third responds.
A buddy of mine went to college, majored in veterinary medicine and minored in taxidermy. “Either way you’re getting your dog back,” he says.
What is a Gen Z’ers favorite college?
Juuliard.
What do you call a test tube with a college degree?
A graduated cylinder.
My wife was disappointed to find out the real reason why my nickname in college was “The Love Machine.”
It’s because I sucked at tennis.
In college, I was so broke I couldn’t pay the electricity bill.
Those were the darkest days of my life.
My old girlfriend wanted me to do her college algebra homework for her.
But frankly, I didn’t want to solve for ex.
Ere ope u enjoyed it budds.
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