Hello ladies and gents this is the viking telling you that today we are talking about
Absence!
Father: Why did you get such a low score in that exam?
Son: Absence!
Father: You were absent on the day of the exam?
Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!
Age
Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can't look that old. Well, you'll love this one....
My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his diploma, which had his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that i had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High school.
'Yes. Yes, I did.' he gleamed with pride.
'When did you graduate?' I asked.
He answered, 'In 1967. Why do you ask?'
'You were in my class!' I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat, gray-haired man asked, 'What did you teach?'
An exam today come rain or shine!
Pupil: Great news, teacher says we have an exam today come rain or shine.
Classmate: So what's so great about that ?
Pupil: It's snowing outside !
Call for backup
A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?' He answered, 'Call for backup.'
Chemistry exam
ON A CHEMISTRY EXAM at Midpark High School in Middleburg Heights, Ohio, one question concerned how to clean the floor after a chemical-powder spill. In detail, I described the liquid I would combine with the powder in order to dissolve it with chemical bonding and electron transfer. I was pleased with my grasp of molecular structure until the exams were handed back. Our teacher asked another student to read her answer. She suggested a broom and a dustpan to sweep up the spill -- and got full credit.
Exams are like girlfriends!
Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS:
1. Too Many Questions.
2. Difficult to Understand.
3. More Explanation is Needed.
4. Result is always FAIL!
Grading of final exams!
Here is a list of the ways professors here at the American University grade their final exams: Dept Of Statistics: All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.
Dept Of Psychology: Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.
Dept Of History: All students get the same grade they got last year.
Dept Of Religion: Grade is determined by God.
Dept Of Philosophy: What is a grade?
Law School: Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.
Dept Of Mathematics: Grades are variable.
Dept Of Logic: If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.
Dept Of Computer Science: Random number generator determines grade.
Music Department: Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note ( a + and - would be sharp and flat respectively).
Dept Of Physical Education: Everybody gets an A
Hated nation
Teacher: Name the nation people hate most
Student: Exami-nation...
How did your exams go?
Father: How did your exams go?
Son: I got nearly 100 in every subject
Father: What do you mean, nearly 100?
Son: The questions didn't give me any trouble, just the answers!
I don't deserve it!
Pupil: I don't think I deserved zero on this exam.
Class: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you !
I hope you liked this post and as always have a chilled day from the Viking.
JOKES
Absence!
Father: Why did you get such a low score in that exam?
Son: Absence!
Father: You were absent on the day of the exam?
Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!
Age
Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can't look that old. Well, you'll love this one....
My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his diploma, which had his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that i had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High school.
'Yes. Yes, I did.' he gleamed with pride.
'When did you graduate?' I asked.
He answered, 'In 1967. Why do you ask?'
'You were in my class!' I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat, gray-haired man asked, 'What did you teach?'
An exam today come rain or shine!
Pupil: Great news, teacher says we have an exam today come rain or shine.
Classmate: So what's so great about that ?
Pupil: It's snowing outside !
Call for backup
A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?' He answered, 'Call for backup.'
Chemistry exam
ON A CHEMISTRY EXAM at Midpark High School in Middleburg Heights, Ohio, one question concerned how to clean the floor after a chemical-powder spill. In detail, I described the liquid I would combine with the powder in order to dissolve it with chemical bonding and electron transfer. I was pleased with my grasp of molecular structure until the exams were handed back. Our teacher asked another student to read her answer. She suggested a broom and a dustpan to sweep up the spill -- and got full credit.
Exams are like girlfriends!
Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS:
1. Too Many Questions.
2. Difficult to Understand.
3. More Explanation is Needed.
4. Result is always FAIL!
Grading of final exams!
Here is a list of the ways professors here at the American University grade their final exams: Dept Of Statistics: All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.
Dept Of Psychology: Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.
Dept Of History: All students get the same grade they got last year.
Dept Of Religion: Grade is determined by God.
Dept Of Philosophy: What is a grade?
Law School: Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.
Dept Of Mathematics: Grades are variable.
Dept Of Logic: If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.
Dept Of Computer Science: Random number generator determines grade.
Music Department: Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note ( a + and - would be sharp and flat respectively).
Dept Of Physical Education: Everybody gets an A
Hated nation
Teacher: Name the nation people hate most
Student: Exami-nation...
How did your exams go?
Father: How did your exams go?
Son: I got nearly 100 in every subject
Father: What do you mean, nearly 100?
Son: The questions didn't give me any trouble, just the answers!
I don't deserve it!
Pupil: I don't think I deserved zero on this exam.
Class: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you !
I hope you liked this post and as always have a chilled day from the Viking.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JD4V8EEfZZw
ReplyDeleteYou're better watch this!