Hello ladies and gents this is the Viking telling you that today we are talking about
BEST COMEBACKS
10. BOTTOMS UP COMEBACK
ASTOR: Winston if you were my husband i would poison your coffee.
CHURCHILL: Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it
9. READY, AIM, FIRE!
After hearing an opera singer's poor performance
AUDIENCE MEMBERS: "What do you think of the singer's execution?"
CALVIN COOLIDGE: "I'm all for it"
8. WELL, YOU ASKED.
REPORTER: Mr Gandhi, What do you think of Western Civilization?
Mr GANDHI: I think it would be a good idea!
7.KEEP YOUR SEATS IN THE UPRIGHT POSITION
MUHAMMAD ALI: Superman don't need no seat belt
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Superman dont need no airplane, either
6. SMELL YOU LATER
Oscar wild was a famous playright and one day someone threw a rotten cabbage at him, he picked it up and said
"Thank you my friend. Every time I smell it I shall be reminded of you"
5 WAR OF WORDS
ENGLISH MAN: Why didn't you whip the confederates in sixty days as you said you would?
HENRY WARD BEECHER, An American abolitionist: Because we found we had Americans to fight this time, not Englishmen.
4. WAKE AT YOUR OWN RISK
MP: Churchill must you fall asleep while i'm speaking?
CHURCHILL: No, it's purely voluntary
3. FACE THE TRUTH
During a debate an ugly Lincoln was accused by his opponent by being two-faced.
LINCOLN said: If i had two faces, do you think I'd be wearing this one?
2. THE UGLY TRUTH
WOMAN: "You're drunk. And what's more, you're disgustingly drunk"
CHURCHILL: You are ugly, and whats more you are disgustingly ugly. But when i wake up, I'll be sober, and you'll still be ugly
1. PROPERLY EQUIPPED
GENERAL COSGROVE: We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and
shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?
GENERAL COSGROVE: I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the
rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL COSGROVE: I don’t see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you’re equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL COSGROVE: Well, Ma’am, you’re equipped to be a prostitute, but you’re not one, are you?
And as always have a chilled day from the Viking.
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