CRIME CORNER by the QUEEN

 Hello ladies and gents this is the Queen telling you that today we are talking about

WEIRD LAWS IN FRANCE

France, like many countries, has its fair share of weird laws. As you’d expect from the French, a few involve kissing, snails, and of course Napoleon.

Of France’s 15,500 or so laws, there are quite a few that would raise an eyebrow (sometimes two).

Clearly, someone simply forgot to adjust those harking back to the Middle Ages – but it is doubtful you’ll get in trouble for not having a spare bale of hay in case the King rides by your farm. Other weird laws scream “triggered!”,  and it’s funny to discover what anecdote gave birth to the kookiest French ordinances. What’s not as humorous is how many weird laws in France still infringe on women’s rights.

Let’s go over the 10 weirdest French laws, to make sure you don’t get caught with your pants down (especially if you’re a woman: you shouldn’t get caught with your pants up either!) They all underline what a good spring cleaning French law really needs.

1. Snails must have their own ticket on French trains

Snails on a train! While it sounds like the French remake of the infamous movie starring Samuel L. Jackson, it turns out it’s just a reminder that animals weighing less than five kilos must travel with their own ticket. That includes the French’s favorite breakfast treat, as a non-plussed Frenchman found out in 2008 while transporting his snail harvest on the TGV.

2. You can’t name your pig Napoléon

If it turns out Napoleon wasn’t in fact ridiculously short, he sure acted like he had a complex. It was illegal to make fun of him, including specifically to name your pig after him. That weird 19th century law is still in effect today in France. So, you can call your pig whatever you like, but certainly not Napoléon. Ironically, did you know Napoléon is the ruler who established today’s French civil code?

3. Don’t kiss in a French train station

The SNCF (French railways) got tired of the delays caused by couples kissing their farewells on platforms. Thus was born this weird French law that prohibits making out once the train has pulled up to the station. No worries, you probably won’t get arrested – or even scolded – for frenching your goodbyes in Gare du Nord. However, you may get so distracted that you’ll miss your train.

Find out more about the SNCF in our guide to French public transportation. If you’re curious about greeting customs in Europe, check out our article on public displays of affection.

4. Women who want to dress like a man must first ask the police

French women are known for their feminine fashion sense, but it’s not due to this outdated law from the 19th century. However, it’s never been taken out of the law books. Officially, if you’d like to wear a pantsuit, you must get authorization from the nearest precinct, as well as a medical certificate. Another weird law that frowns upon women wearing pants in France states that the only exception is when they’re riding a bike or a horse.

5. You must listen to French music

As a last-ditch attempt to put the brakes on America’s cultural imperialism, the French passed a law in 1994 that insists that 40% of music played on French radio stations must be by French artists.

Adopted in the hope to promote and preserve French culture and language, the law proved very unpopular. Thus the French music quota was decreased to 35% in 2016. Radio stations that specialize in foreign music were also granted an exception. They are only obligated to play 15% of Charles Trenet and Yvette Horner.

And as always have a chilled day from the Queen