Hello ladies and gents this is the Viking telling you that today we are talking about

JOES JOKES

Q:Why did John Lennon get shot? 

A:Because Yoko ducked. 

Q: Why didn't the metro bus driver let G-Unit on the bus? 

A: Because they didn't have 50 cent with them 

Q. Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill Clinton first thing in the morning? A. She wants to be the first lady. 

Q. Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky turned Republican? 

A. The democrats left a bad taste in her mouth. 

Q. How come Mike Tyson's eye's water during sex? 

A. Mace 

Q: Did you hear Ellen DeGeneres died? 

A: They found her face down in Ricki Lake. 

Q. What does Ellen DeGeneris cook for dinner every night? 

A. She doesn't, she eats out!

Q: What is Mick Jagger's favorite drink? 

A: A Mickshake! 

Q. Why can't the government put Magic Johnson on a stamp? 

A. Everyone would be afraid to lick it.

Q: What was Ted Bundy's favorite group dance? 

A: "The Electric Slide"! 

Q. What's the difference between Christopher Reeves and OJ Simpson? 

A. Christopher Reeves got the electric chair....and O.J walked! 

Q. What's white and sticky and found on the bathroom wall? 

A. George Michael's latest release. 

Q. What do you call a man with a blackhead on his dick? 

A. Hugh Grant. 

Q. What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? 

A. A microwave stops when you open the door. 

Q. How did Helen Keller's mother punish her? 

A. By rearranging the living-room furniture. 

Q. What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well? 

A. She screamed her hands off. 

Q. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? 

A. So she can moan with the other. 

Q. Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? 

A. Her dog was blind too. 

Q. What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her for swearing? 

A. Washed her hands with soap. 

Q: What happened when James Blunt fell into a pencil sharpener? 

A: He became James Sharp. 

Q: What is a preacher's favoriate song? 

A: Livin' on a prayer by Bon Jovi. What does Will Smith leave behind after Committing a crime? Fresh Prints. 

Q: What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? 

A: They both suck without Cream. 

Q: What do call it when Eric Clapton hits your car with his guitar? 

A: A FENDER BENDER! 

Q: How do police know that princess Diana had dandruff? 

A:They found her head and shoulders under the steering wheel. 

Q: What is Macaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? 

A: Neverland ranch. 

Q: What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? 

A: Christopher Walken 

Q: What is Bruce Lee's favorite hotel? 

A: Hyatt (hi yat!) 

Q: What would it take to reunite the Beatles? 

A: Two more bullets. 

Q: What does Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common? 

A: Their last great hit was the wall. 

Q: How do you know Michael Jackson's on a date? 

A: There's a power wheels parked outside of his house. 

Q: What has three teeth and 60 feet? 

A: The front row at a Willie Nelson concert 

Q: How did Dr. Dre meet Eminem and 50 cent? 

A: Dr. Dre bought M&Ms for 50 cents... 

Q. Do you know why Monica got a stain on her dress? 

A. She didn't keep her mouth shut!

and as always have a chilled day from the Viking