Hello ladies and gents this is the Viking telling you that today we are talking about
The Canonical List of French Jokes
Q. How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. One, because he holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him
Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier?
A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it.
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Q: What's the motto of the US Marine Corps?
A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful)
Q: What's the motto of the French Army?
A: Stop, drop, and run!
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Q. Why don't Master Card and Visa work well in France? A. They do not know how to say "CHARGE!"
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Q: What do women who are snipers in the French military use as camouflage?
A: Their armpits.
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Q: What’s the difference between a Frenchman and a bucket of crap?
A: The bucket
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The recent tremors felt throughout France have been attributed to the fifty six thousand+ WWI & WWII U.S. soldiers spinning in their graves.
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Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques Chirac's ass?
A: Because the French, in general are less sensitive to bad smells and certainly more tolerant of bitter flavors!!
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Q: What do you call a French man killed defending his country?
A: I don't know either, its never happened!
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Q: What Does "Maginot Line" mean in French?
A: "Speed bump ahead"
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Q: What’s the new French flag look like?
A: A white cross emblazoned on a white background!
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Q: Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps depicting famous Frenchmen?
A: People were confused about which side to spit on.
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Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to shingle a roof?
A: 3 if you slice them thin enough.
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Famous quotes about the French: "I just love the French. They taste like chicken!" ---- Hannibal Lecter "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes." ---Mark Twain "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." --- General George S. Patton "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know." --- P.J O'Rourke (1989)
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Q: What is the difference between American fries and French fries?
A: Courage!!
and as always have a chilled day from the Viking
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