JOES JOKES

 Hello ladies and gents this is the Viking telling you that today we are talking about

15 Funny-Bone Tickling House Removal Jokes

So then, move day – it’s fast approaching and you’re feeling the fear (even though you’ve read our guide: Overcoming the Stress of a Home Move). From changing doctors, dentists and schools, to packing up and loading a million and one boxes, moving homes is not for the faint of heart – little wonder then that it has a reputation as one of the most stressful tasks we can face in life. If you’re close to tears or nearly tearing your hair out over your big move, you may want to take time out with these 15 funny-bone ticking home moving wise cracks. Smile!

“I’m looking for the girl next door type. I’m just going to keep moving house till I find her”

My friend and I are moving into a tree-house together.I hope we don’t fall out.

Home sickness is what you feel every month when the mortgage is due.

A client bought a new home and the broker wanted to send flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the home and the owner read the card; it said “Rest in Peace”. The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. “Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, “Congratulations on your new home”.

One morning as Professor Thompson was leaving for the college his wife told her absent-minded husband, “Don’t forget we are moving today. If you come to this house this afternoon it will be empty.” Predictably he didn’t remember until he found the house vacated that afternoon. He mumbled to himself, “And where was it we were moving to?” He went out in front of the house and asked a little girl, “Did you see a moving van here today, little girl?” “Yes,” she replied.“Can you tell me which way it went?” She looked up at him and said, “Yes, Daddy, I’ll show you.”

If you think no one cares that you’re alive, just miss a couple of house payments.

What four-legged animal can jump higher than a house? Any, houses can’t jump.

Houses today don’t have enough wardrobe space. Sure they do. They’re just called guest bedrooms.

A man’s home is his castle. That’s just how it seems when he pays taxes on it.

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. First person he see he asks, “Excuse me? What’s your IQ” The person replies, 280. Einstein says, great! We can talk about astrophysics! 2nd person he runs into he asks the same question, what’s your IQ? The person replies, 150. Great! says Einstein, we can talk about events of the day!
3rd person he sees he once again asks about their IQ. This time the person says 45! Einstein says, Great! Where do you think the real estate market is headed??!!

If you want to know exactly where the property line is, just watch the neighbour cut the grass.

A tenant called up a pet store and said, “Could you please send me ten thousand cockroaches.”
“What in the world do you want with ten thousand cockroaches?” asked the clerk.
“Well,” replied Rachel, “I am moving out of my apartment today and my lease says I have to leave the place in the same condition I found it.”

I bought a two-story house. One story before I bought, and another after.

My buyer told me that he lived in the same house for 10 years. When I checked, I found out he’d still be there today if the Governor hadn’t pardoned him.

And as always have a chilled day from the Viking