JOES JOKES

 Hello ladies and gents this is the Viking telling you that today we are talking about

Best Old Age One-Liners for Birthday Cards

Short and sweet one-liners to poke fun at your favourite old fart.

1. Birthdays aren’t as fun when you’re older, but fortunately you don’t have many more to go.

2. You’re so old, I heard your social security number is 3.

3. You know you’re old when the candles cost more than the cake.

4. Congratulations on being able to cough, fart, sneeze, and pee at the same time!

5. With old age comes great wisdom

… and hairs in weird places that need to be plucked.

6. Fabulosity has no age.

7. Your birthday is becoming a serious fire hazard with all those candles.

8. Isn’t it a great feeling knowing you’re so old there’s nothing left to learn the hard way?

9. I wanted to give you a funny card, but I was concerned that at your age you might pee yourself.

10. Does it feel weird being the same age as old people?

11. Things that age well: Wine. Cheese. You.

12. Don’t you wish that you were as old as the first time you thought you were old?

13. So….. how old are we pretending to be this year?

14. I’m not going to make any age jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.

15. You’re not old, you’re 30 (plus shipping and handling).

16. One year closer to being back in diapers.

17. Allow me to suggest that this is the year you start lying about your age.

18. Congrats on being ancient.

19. It’s your birthday – smile while you still have teeth!

20. Happy birthday! You don’t look a day older than dirt.

and as always have a chilled day from the Viking