JOES JOKES!

 Hello ladies and gents this is the Viking telling you that today we are talking about 

Shopping Jokes for Mall Rats and Shopaholics Alike!

1. Where do Sith Lords go shopping?

At the Darth Mall.

2. What do you call an orange that takes over the world?

Orange Julius Caesar.

3. What is cheaper and more effective than a psychiatrist?

Going shopping at a mall.

4. I saw a man with one arm shopping at a second hand store.

I told him “you’re not going to find what you’re looking for.”

5. They say don’t go grocery shopping while you’re hungry.

But it’s been a week and I just keep getting hungrier.

6. What kind of bird likes to go shopping?

A Pottery Barn Owl.

7. Customer: May I try on that dress in the window, please?

Clerk: No, ma’am. You’ll have to use the fitting room like everyone else.

8. While I was shopping, I saw an ad in a window. It said, “Television for $1, volume stuck on full.”

There’s no way I can turn that down.

9. Once you’ve seen one shopping plaza, you’ve seen the mall.

10. Never do bedroom shopping while drunk

It can lead to one nightstand.

11. I went to the gas station this morning for petrol. The first pump didn’t work, neither did the second pump, nor the third. I went into the shop and said to the person working behind the counter, “Have you got your pumps on?” She said, “No, I’m wearing Ugg Boots.”

12. I went to buy a new mattress the other day. I wasn’t sure about it, so the salesman told me to go away and sleep on it.

13. I used to go into shopping centres and rotate the body parts of the mannequins…I don’t think everyone noticed, but I certainly turned a few heads.

14. Health officials said that you only have to wear masks and gloves to go grocery shopping but they lied! Apparently, you have to wear clothes too.

15. Where do you find magical gifts at the mall? Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Brookstone.

16. What do you call people who sell work clothes at the mall? Gangs of New York and Company.

17. If the shoe fits…..buy it in every color.

18. What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

19. Black Friday: Because only in America people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.

20. Black Friday is a scam.

You should be mad they overcharge you 364 days a year.

21. Who profits the most on Black Friday?

The one who was smart enough not to go shopping on that day.

22. The best Black Friday sale is one you can access from your bed.

23. What do people eat on Black Friday?

Whatever they couldn’t finish on Thanksgiving Thursday.

24. Bought a new vacuum on Black Friday.

It sucks!

25. What do Black Friday shoppers and the Thanksgiving turkey have in common?

They know what it’s like to be jammed into a small place and stuffed!

And as always have a chilled day from the Viking