Hello ladies and gents this is the Viking telling you that today we are talking about
Reel-y Funny Fishing Jokes
Why are fish so smart?
Because they swim in schools!
One day, two guys Frank, and Bob, were out fishing. A funeral service passes over the bridge they’re fishing by, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by.
Frank said, “Gee, Bob, I didn’t know you had it in you!” Bob replied, “It’s the least I could do. After all, I was married to her for 30 years.”
What do you call a fish that won’t shut up?
A big-mouthed bass!
Why did the Vegan go fishing?
Just for the halibut.
Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid. The mermaid offered them one wish each. The first fisherman said, “Double my I.Q.”
So, the mermaid did it and to his surprise, he started reciting Shakespeare. Then the second fisherman said, “Triple my I.Q.” And sure enough, the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn’t know existed. The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q. and the mermaid said, “Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!” The fisherman said “Yes” So, the mermaid turned him into a woman.
Why are fish so gullible?
They fall for things hook, line and sinker!
Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
Because they have their own scales!
Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
The bobber shop.
One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice from above said, “There are no fish down there.”
He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, “There’s no fish down there.” He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, “There’s no fish down there.” He looked up into the sky and asked, “God, is that you?” “No, you idiot,” the voice said, “it’s the rink manager.”
What is the fastest fish in the water?
A motopike.
What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back not catching anything.
Three men and a baby.
I caught a trout so big, the picture of it was three pounds. The negative was a pound. We went into the lake to eat it rather than bring it home.
Why did the husband go fishing on Valentine’s Day?
To catch his wife a bouquet of flounders!
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy!
Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing together?
Because Robin ate all the worms!
Why didn’t Noah do much fishing on the ark?
He had only two worms.
Game warden: “Didn’t you see the no-fishing sign, son?”
Boy: “I’m not fishing, sir. I’m teaching these worms how to swim!”
Two guys are talking about fishing. One says to the other, “I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!”
“That bad, huh,” his friend responded. “She did everything wrong! She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up in the boat, baited the hook wrong, used the wrong lures, and WORST of all she caught more fish than me!”
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
By golf carp.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can’t walk!
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank.
Three priests were fishing on a boat when they ran out of bait. The first priest got up and walked across the water to get some more bait. After two hours they ran out of bait again and the second priest said he would go get more bait, so he got up and walked across the water. After three hours of fishing, they ran out of bait again and the third priest said he would get more bait. So, he stepped out of the boat and went straight to the bottom. The first priest turned to the second priest and asked, “Should we have told him where the rocks were?”
And as always have a chilled day from the Viking
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