Hello ladies and gents this is the Viking telling you that today we are talking about

Cooking Jokes

My wife rang me at the pub and said, “If you’re not home in 10 minutes, I’m giving the dinner I cooked you to the dog.”

I was home in 5 minutes.

I’d hate for anything to happen to the dog.

Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today…

Should have cooked it on aloha temperature.

Harry Potter can’t tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best mate.

They’re both cauldron.

Did you know the first French fry wasn’t cooked in France?

It was cooked in Greece.

I cooked a medium rare steak for my friend and he said, “I like it well done.”

I said, “Thanks. That means a lot.”

I used to be a member of the secret cooking society.

But they kicked me out for spilling the beans.

Do cannibals eat ramen?

Or do they cook them first?

I was watching an Australian cooking show recently and the audience began applauding when the chef made meringue.

Which is odd because… Australians usually boo meringue.

My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook dinner.

So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.

I like to cook dangerously.

I take whisks in the kitchen.

The White Viking