Hello ladies and gents this is the Viking telling you that today we are talking about
AIRPLANE JOKES
Where does a mountain climber keep his plane?
In a cliff-hangar.
Why do people take an instant dislike to flight attendants?
To save time later.
Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing?
I just can’t see them taking off.
A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin.
“Do you always carry such heavy luggage?” she sighed. “No more,” the man said. “Next time, I’m riding in the bag, and my partner can buy the ticket!”
What is the difference between God and an airline pilot?
God doesn’t think he’s an airline pilot.
A Boeing 737 Max flight attendant walks into a bar and orders a martini.
“You’re here later than usual,” the bartender comments. “Problems at work?” “Yes, just as our flight was about to take off, we had to turn around and wait at the gate for an hour.” “What was the problem?” the bartender asks. “The pilot was bothered by a noise in the engine,” she replies. “It took us a while to find a new pilot.”
Why did the airplane get sent to his room?
Bad altitude.
Why do flight attendants make great astronauts?
They know how to take up space.
What has a nose and flies, but can’t smell?
An airplane!
A plane lands, and shortly after, the flight attendant comes over the speaker.
“Hi, folks! Sorry about that rough landing. It wasn’t the captain’s fault. It definitely wasn’t my fault… It was the asphalt.”
I asked a flight attendant to change my seat because of a crying baby next to me.
It turns out you can’t do that if the baby is yours.
What did the Klingon say to the flight attendant?
“Today is a good day to fly.”
I decided to leave work an hour early today.
The flight attendants started freaking out when I grabbed my parachute, though.
What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
put me in coach
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