XMAS JOKES

 Hello ladies and gents this is the Viking telling you that today we are talking about 

Christmas Jokes


  • What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense? Wait, there's myrrh.
  • What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
  • What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claus-trophobia!
  • What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause.
  • What do snowmen eat for dessert? Ice crispies.
  • How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit? Nurse them back to elf.
  • What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa's workshop? A rebel without a Claus!
  • What do you call a reindeer ghost? Cari-boo!
  • What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown.
  • Why are elves such great motivational speakers? They have plenty of elf-confidence.
  • Why do reindeer like BeyoncĂ© so much? She sleighs.
  • What reindeer game do reindeer play at sleepovers? Truth or deer.
  • What did Santa say when he stepped into a big puddle? It must have reindeer.
  • What does Rudolph want for Christmas? A Pony sleigh station.
  • What is Santa's dog's name? Santa Paws!
  • Where do Santa's reindeer stop for coffee? Star-bucks!
  • What’s every elf’s favorite type of music? Wrap!
  • What’s the absolute best Christmas present? A broken drum — you can’t beat it!
  • What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-it is.
  • What do Santa's elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
  • What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.
  • What do grapes sing at Christmas? 'Tis the season to be jelly.
  • What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
  • What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet!
  • What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Ice Crispies.
  • Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey—he’s always stuffed.

And as always have a chilled day from the Viking

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