Hello ladies and gents this is the Viking telling you that today we are talking about
Alcohol Jokes
Q: What is a man's idea of a balanced diet? A: A Budweiser in each hand!
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
Q: What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini? A: "Olive or twist?"
Q: What did the bartender say after a book walked into the bar? A: "Please, no stories!"
Q. Why did God invent Jameson whiskey? A. So the Irish would never rule the world!
Q: What do Russians get when mixing Holy Water with Vodka? A: The Holy Spirit!
Q: What goes with Coronavirus? A: Lyme disease.
Q: What did the man with slab of asphalt under his arm order? A: "A beer please, and one for the road."
Q: You know what's fun about being sober? A: Nothing. Don't want your friends to come over and drink all your beer during the quarantine? Just tell them you have a case of Corona.
Q: Why did Mexicans create tequila? A: So ugly people would have a chance at having sex!
Q: What do you get when you mix English class with alcohol? A: Tequila Mockingbird Check out our Funny Alcohol T-shirts
Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? A: Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!
Q: How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? A: They keep falling off the wagon.
Q: How many men does it take to open a Budweiser bottle? A: none. the lady should already have it open on the table!
Q: How can you find the guy who drank a case of Coors Light? A: He's the one dancing like an asshole!
Q: How do you know a man is really really gay? A: When he's nursing a Bacardi Breezer! Q: What happens when a ghost drinks boos? A: They get sheet-faced.
Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a bottle of Jack Daniels? A: A guy will actually SEARCH for a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of Miller Lite instead of one. What's the cure for marriage? Answer: Alcoholism.
Q: Why does Corona go through your system so fast? A: Because it does not have to stop to change colour
Q: How do you get a computer drunk? A: A Screenshot of Tequila.
Q: When do women drink alcohol? A: Wine O'Clock.
Q: Whats the difference between a dog and a fox? A: 2 drinks.
Q: How do you find a man in a bar who is sensitive, caring and good looking? A: He's nursing a Mike's Hard Lemonade and is acting super super gay!
Q: What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football? A: The sofa doesn't keep asking for Bud Light!
Q: What is the similarity between Michelob Ultra and having sex in a rowboat? A: They are both SO close to water!
Q: What do you say when you're gonna drunk dial someone? A: Al-cohol you
Q: What do blondes and bottle of Corona have in common? A: Their both empty from the neck up!
Q: Why are Men like coolers? A: Load them with Bud Light, and you can take them anywhere!
And as always have a chilled day from the Viking
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