WEIRD SPORTS

Hello ladies and gents this is the Viking telling you that today we are talking about 

The Bizarre Sport of Ferret Legging

Britain has more than its fair share of crazy exploits masquerading as sport: in Gloucestershire spectators can watch contestants chase a wheel of cheese down a steep hill (fractures, sprains, and concussions add to the fun); in Cumbria men and women stick their heads through a horse collar and pull grotesque faces (applause determines the winner); in Leicestershire people from neighbouring villages battle in mud over a small keg (the rules are simple, there aren’t any).

But, a gold medal contender for sheer masochistic barmyness has to go to the folks who drop ferrets down their trousers, an activity dear to the hearts of Yorkshiremen, although some Scots make a claim to owning the copyright.

The Rules of Ferret Legging

The essence of the event was described by Donald Katz in his 2001 book King of the Ferret Leggers (The story first appeared under Mr. Katz’s byline in Outdoor magazine in 1987).

Competitors tie up the ankles of their trousers and drop a couple of ferrets in at the top end: “The brave contestant’s belt is then pulled tight, and he proceeds to stand there in front of the judges as long as he can, while animals with claws like hypodermic needles and teeth like number 16 carpet tacks try their damnedest to get out.” As a further refinement, no undergarments are allowed so certain vital and dangly parts are within easy reach of the irritated critters.

The winner is the one who is last to release the voracious little animals. Contestants are required to be sober, presumably to ensure that they are fully in possession of their faculties before making the decision to compete. However, it is not clear why anyone not under the influence of intoxicants would even think, for more than a second, about joining in. So, the being-of-sound-mind requirement seems moot.

The same goes for the ferrets. No sedation or filing of teeth is allowed. Also, any man of an age to be likely to start or add to a family has to have a note of approval from his significant other.

A Word About Ferrets

To those unfamiliar with the wee beasties, ferrets are basically a set of teeth at the front end of a foot-long furry body; think small dachshund with much sharper teeth. They have been called piranhas on legs and the shark of the land.

Their main function was to scare the bejesus out of rabbits. In the days when protein was hard to come by for working people in Britain, ferrets were popped into rabbit warrens. The terrified bunnies scampered out of their bolt holes only to get entangled in the nets that poachers had placed over them. A whack with a stick and pie followed.

Poaching was and is illegal, so men often carried their ferrets concealed in their trousers. This may or may not have been the origin of ferret legging; authorities seem a bit reluctant to put much faith in the connection.

There is a strong ferret lobby group that protests the little guys are as cute as all get out. Some folk keep them as pets and say they never so much as think of seeing their owners as a lunch item.

And as always have a chilled day from the Viking