Hello ladies and gents Joe is off watching the coronation so today we are laughing about
Funny Queen Jokes
Did you hear that Queen Elizabeth II may have made it to 96 before she died?
But Princess Diana made it to 120.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Queen.
(Queen who?)
Queen as a whistle.
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How do you know Liz Truss is a master at political chess?
She opened with a queen sacrifice.
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Why did Prince Andrew get the Queen’s corgis?
Because he’s the most experienced groomer in the family.
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What happens if you cross Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Phillip?
You die in a car accident in Paris.
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At the royal gathering.
Meghan: What’s your secret to long life?
Queen Elizabeth II: Wear a seatbelt and don’t piss me off.
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Why are there forecasts of drought in England?
Because the Queen rain has ended.
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How does a queen in a straitjacket flip a light switch?
Off, with her head.
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What did President Biden say after he was informed that the Queen has died?
“That’s a shame. I really liked their music.”
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How was Queen Elizabeth II defying the rules of chess?
By outliving the king.
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Why is the UK not returning Koh-i-Noor to India now that the Queen is no more?
If they start giving everything they robbed, The British Museum would be empty.
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Why do UK people complain about bad weather?
Queen Elizabeth managed to get through 70 years and 214 days of continuous reign.
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What do the Queen and Elvis have in common?
They both died on the throne.
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Did you hear about the Queen’s burial in St. George’s Chapel, on the grounds of Windsor Castle?
People are just dying to get in there.
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Why the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened If Queen accidentally farts during dinner?
Noble gases should have no reaction.
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How do you know that Queen was a Ronaldo fan?
Queen Elizabeth sat through Hitler, the Cold war, and the threat of Nuclear war but watching Ronaldo play in the Europa League is where she drew the line.
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What’s it called when a King and Queen have no children?
A receding heir line.
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What is the difference between turning 16 and turning 100 in the UK?
When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen and when you turn 16, you get a text from Prince Andrew.
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Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and both go before an Angel to find out if they’ll be admitted to Heaven.
Unfortunately, there’s only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in.
The Angel asks Dolly if there’s some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly takes off her top and says, “Look at these, they’re the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I’m sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity.”
The Angel thanks Dolly and asks Her Majesty the same question.
The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse and drinks it down. Then, pees into a toilet and pulls the lever.
The Angel says, “Ok, your Majesty, you may go in.”
Dolly is outraged and asked, “What was that all about, I show you two of God’s own perfect creations and you turn me down. She pees into a toilet and she gets in! Would you explain that to me?”
“Sorry Dolly, says the Angel, but even in Heaven A Royal Flush Beats a Pair No Matter How Big They Are.”
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