Hello ladies and gents this is Joe telling you that today we are talking about
Coast Guard Jokes
Between all the service branches there is a friendly rivalry that will always create jokes among the various branches. The Coast Guard often gets its share of jokes starting with the fact that it was formerly part of the Department of Transportation (now Homeland Security) and not the Department of Defense.
Other branches obviously charge forward with "not even in the military" but the Coast Guard has definitely seen its share of life and death operations on the high seas, dealing with drug dealers, and even being deployed in the War on Terror overseas to handle port security and other coastal threats. That hasn't stopped anyone from making fun of the Coast Guard. Here is a list of punchlines.
You Might Be a Coastie If....
You know instantly that "work smarter, not harder" means billet cuts
People ask you what you're doing beyond the three-mile limit
You get married to move out of the barracks
You precede every public speech with, "I was going to tell a sea story, but seeing the lack of Cutterman's pins out there, you all just wouldn't understand"
An Alaskan cruise is not an option for your honeymoon.
You are still trying to figure out what TQM was all about.
You've ever laughed when watching the CG commercial at 3:00 am, and wondered why all they show is helo's and small boats
You've successfully avoided at least one inspection, Change of Command, or urinalysis
After boot camp, you've never fired a gun
You hear an HH-65 and DON'T look up
Your port calls have more bars in them than people
You consider the door falling off your aircraft natural air conditioning
While underway, a life raft comes loose, hits you on the head and you're counseled for "loss of situational awareness"
Members of other branches of the service visit your workspace and they shout, "Wow, I haven't seen one of these in 20 years!"
Your idea of aromatherapy is Simple Green and JP5.
Any time you set out on a trip you expect to hear "make preparations for getting underway".
And as always have a chilled day from the Viking
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